Truthfully, I am the "better" one in the relationship - I hate to say it - but I get hit on a lot, I have always had a ton of friends, and I am the one away at school doing things while he is still trying to figure out his life while working. He's said many times that he feels like he doesn't deserve me and most would say he doesn't. Also, he has very deep self-esteem issues. A few years ago in high school he had no friends, and once he got a job outside of high school with many kids his age, he was able to change his image and thrived on the attention of girls. It's been years since that stage but everyone knows deep within him is someone who longs to be admired. I know that though I am a great girlfriend, being away all the time didn't help, and the fact that I have pride and am an independent woman who doesnt naturally boost the egos of men probably didn't give him everything he needed. STILL not an excuse!! I just like to logically think things through. And that is definitely a solid fact about him.
Yes I was in a 16 year relationship/marriage where his sex drive was usually low. I have known several other women whose husbands sex drive was low or non existant. It may have been a hormonal problem for a couple of the guys, or some type of childhood abuse. My neighbor (male) and his brothers were raped by their priest when they were kids, and therefore several of them (there were 7 boys in the family) shunned relationships later in life and were simply celibate. No telling the reason for a low sex drive in men sometimes. But it is out there, and you wouldn't necessarily know it unless someone spills the beans about it.